i'm lost, i'm hurting.
why it's all me ?!
everything just occur on me ! not anyone else.

spent almost half of my lesson time in toilet. i totally couldn't put my mind into work now.
it's seriously dead. i'm neglecting everything, but really. i don't know what am i doing.
isolating myself ?

i kept having nice dreams, and i just don't wish to wake up.
i don't wanna go to school. i don't really want to live.

sigh, just feel like slamming my head as hard as possible on the wall, and just die.
ahhhhhhh, i want to scream. scream till my heart content.
i just have this urge of exploding. anytime. something in my body, ready to explode anytime.
while i'm helplessly holding it back. holding myself back.

i never thought that i will ever be going through this. but unfortunately, i'm now.
everything had just became memories. and memories is enough to kill me already.
my heart is seriously shattered, and i'm broken.
i have so much, to tell you. but i just don't know whether i should.

i really had a great time sharing my feelings to lin jun today during our journey back.
it's tough, it's really tough.
i really got no idea what's next. everyday seemed meaningless.
sigh

i don't wanna live